Preheat oven to 350°. Line three greased 9-in. round baking pans with waxed paper and grease paper; set aside. In a large bowl, combine first six ingredients. Combine buttermilk, oil and vanilla; add to dry ingredients. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition; beat 2 minutes. Gradually add coffee (batter will be thin).
Pour batter into prepared pans. Bake 35-40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely.
For filling, in a small saucepan, whisk together flour and milk until smooth. Cook over medium heat 1 minute or until thickened, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and let stand until cool.
In a large bowl, cream shortening and butter until light and fluffy. Gradually add confectioners’ sugar and mix well. Gradually add cooled milk mixture; beat 4 minutes or until light and fluffy. Beat in liqueur, salt and food coloring if desired.
Level tops of cakes if necessary. Place one layer on a serving plate; spread with about 2 tablespoons jam. Place remaining layers on waxed paper; spread one of the remaining layers with remaining jam. Let stand 30 minutes.
Spread 1/2 cup filling over cake on the plate to within 1/4 in. of edges. Top with jam-covered cake, then spread with remaining filling. Top with remaining cake layer.
In a large bowl, beat cream cheese and butter until smooth. Beat in cocoa and liqueur. Gradually beat in confectioners’ sugar until light and fluffy. Frost top and sides of cake. Store in the refrigerator.