In a large bowl, beat cream cheese, confectioners' sugar and extract until smooth. Gradually beat in 1 cup coconut milk. Add pudding mix; beat on low speed until smooth. Fold in whipped topping.
Pour remaining coconut milk into a shallow dish. Quickly dip half of the graham crackers into milk; allow excess to drip off. Arrange in a single layer in the bottom of a 13x9-in. baking dish, breaking to fit as needed. Layer with half each of the cream cheese mixture, pineapple and coconut. Repeat layers. Refrigerate, covered, at least 4 hours before serving.
Test Kitchen tips
For golden color and a nutty coconut flavor, toast the 1/2 cup of coconut that goes on the top layer.
This can be made in a slightly smaller dish, but we liked that the dessert didn’t fill the dish completely. It makes it easier to cover when chilling (and transporting to potlucks).
As the dessert sits in the fridge, the graham crackers absorb moisture from the coconut milk and pudding mixture, softening to a somewhat cakelike texture.
To toast coconut, bake in a shallow pan in a 350° oven for 5-10 minutes or cook in a skillet over low heat until golden brown, stirring occasionally.